BYM September 2006: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Here's a brief overview of how to
create an effective emotional
word picture:

Establish a clear purpose:
know exactly what point you
want to make. Is to address a
problem? Express your
feelings? Convey
encouragement?
Carefully study the other
person's interests: in order
to grab the other person's
attention, you must connect
the word picture with
something the other person
is really interested in.
Draw upon the four
exhaustible wells--where to
look for word pictures:

if it doesn't work the first time, to
keep on trying--it might take
several attempts to make a
connection; and when you hit
upon an emotional word picture
that works, milk it for all it's
worth meaning to look for more
ways to use the same picture.

Here's how one looks:
"I feel like a tube of toothpaste.
By the end of the day people
have squeezed everything they
can out of me. My work has
really helped the company, and I
know I'm appreciated for that.
Yet, nobody seems to care that
I'm empty and gnarled up
inside." (Excerpt from The
Language of Love)

All great communicators have
mastered the art of the
emotional word picture. The
likes of Dr. King's famous, I
Have a Dream speech, stories
from your favorite motivational
speaker, and the many parables
told by Jesus. I believe you can
be just as effective too--but, it'll
take observation, creativity,
practice, and effort.

Friends, I pray that we all would
be able to learn and speak this
new language of emotional word
pictures. Hopefully, each of us
would truly experience being
understood, and as a result,
have stronger relationships at
home and at work. Now, try it out!

Bless your marriage,
Brother Willie Quan

The past three BYM issues have
been focused on understanding
our spouses—seeking first to
understand, listening, and
looking at some of the
differences between men and
women. So hopefully, if you
have invested these past
months on seeking first to
understand, now your spouse
should be more open to
reciprocating the same heart
towards you to “be understood.”

Now, it's your turn to speak.
Would you like a tool to help you
be better understood?

In Gary Smalley & John Trent's
book, The Language of Love,
they teach a powerful
communication tool called
emotional word pictures, which
help enable instant
understanding. An emotional
word picture uses a story or
object to activate simultaneously
the emotions and intellect of a
person. In doing so, it causes
the person to experience our
words, not just hear them.
Connecting a person's thoughts
(mind) with their feelings (heart)
creates the power of a lasting
impression. Most people change
because an event or an
experience touches them
emotionally--the goal of a well
crafted emotional word picture.

Nature

animals, weather,

flowers, beauty, mountains,

any other natural element.

Everyday objects

something the person might

relate to on a regular basis.

An activity

a car,

food

etc

Imaginary stories

creatin

a story

that will

grab your

listener's

attention and

draw them

in.

"Remember when..."

drawing upon

significant

event or experience

the

perso

n's past.

uch

experiences are strongly

linked to emotions, and

tapping into

will bring a

connection to the heart.